A Letter To Republican Major Donors

A Risk Assessment In Buying Into Donald Trump

Donald Trump is a terrible, garbage-tier political investment.

He’s the lowest tranche of junk-bond quality, a steaming, fetid pool of existential risk with no hope of a return, and nothing but exposure and embarrassment on the menu. He’s a collateralized debt obligation derivative product based on subprime mortgages issued to rabid, meth-addicted raccoons in the Spring of 2008.

And yet, you’re flooding his campaign coffers (e.g. his personal bank accounts) with cash. Trump is a meteor, racing towards your prosperity and the American economy, and you’re paying for it.

I get it; money does what it does.

I know that seems a bit recursive and a lot Austrian School at a first approximation, but most of you believe — largely correctly — that money flows to investments and enterprises with its own quicksilver logic based on differentials in the quantity and quality of information held by the players. You’re rich, confident, living in beautiful world of private jets, sculpted and bespoke trophy wives, and ten zeros after your net worth figures.

I must remind you, however, that you’re not infallible. The spontaneous order that markets display can be wrong — sometimes embarrassingly wrong and sometimes spectacularly wrong.