We're In Our Oligarch Era
And other observations from Day 1 of Trump's Second Reign of Misrule.
A Day at the Circus
It was one for the books, folks.
Peer behind the bright lights and limp ceremony—both manipulated to accommodate Chicken Donny’s pathological fear of a winter breeze—and you get a sneak preview of this unholy presidential term: peril, drama, calamity, chaos, plague, and maybe the entire Book of Revelation tossed in for fun.
If the day was any indication, we might want to buckle up for the Return of the Seven Plagues and watch the sky for raining frogs while we're at it.
Three Speeches, One National Nightmare
First, trifurcate the three speeches. Ah, trifurcate—God, I love that word. The day sliced itself into three big moments, each more unhinged than the last.
First up: the official swearing-in, a visual carnival that also served as a grad-level seminar in modern Kremlinology.
In the Rotunda, America’s titans of tech occupied front-row seats like they were on the deck of the latest superyacht.
Zuck, his perm aglow, was ogling the spectacular store-boughts and Agent Provocateur lingerie peeking from Jeff Bezos’s newly acquired paramour’s decollatage.
Elon looked like the Ketamine was reaching its peak. Tim Cook looked like he’d do anything to be teleported to a supply closet, and Sundar Pichai of Google had the fixed smile of a a man thinking only of his 10Q.
Meanwhile, the newly minted Cabinet picks hovered behind them like a second-string JV squad. The message was unsubtle: the real power is with those who can help Donny and his nearest and dearest.
They get the joke now: corruption is a business model, and they’re going all-in. Hell, if they play their cards right, some might hit the big T—a trilly—by the end of the term.
Welcome to our oligarch era. No one else matters, least of all Trump’s base.
As for the Cabinet? Errand boys sent by grocery clerks. Congress? A rubber stamp. And have you accepted Our Donald as your personal savior? If not, repent now.
Somewhere between the forced smiles of George W. Bush and Barack Obama—who both looked like they were trying not to snort-laugh—and the U.S. Senators glancing around to see who stopped clapping first, we witnessed the reading of a speech the new POTUS can never quite make look genuine.
His teleprompter game is shockingly weak for a reality TV dude; his words fall flat when some geek writes for history and posterity. Let’s face it: Donald only comes alive when he’s bragging about himself or whining about some imagined harm.
The Real Speech: Ugly, Dumb, and Honest About His Malice
The second speech, delivered to the overflow crowd exiled from the VIP circle, was a tossed salad of resentment, conspiracy theories, vengeful fantasies, and carnival-barker insults. It was, in a word, honest.
This is the Trump we all know and dread: unabashedly corrupt, proudly cruel, and out for blood. If you were hoping he’d pivot to statesmanlike dignity, you’re about four years late and several IQ points short.
And Then: The Final Rally
The third act was essentially a live-action Royal Progress for the thousands of people Trump stiffed from the outdoor event. It was more performance art than policy—like a traveling sideshow starring the man who can’t stop talking about himself. We did get a tour of the Royal Family, the American Harkonnens.
The initial signing of the executive orders decayed into Trump tossing Sharpies into the audience. It was a strangely hollow moment.
Cracking Open the Constitution
The Constitution? Meh. The rule of law? Pfft.
Donny’s re-entry into the Oval was quickly followed by a flurry of executive orders that were Cartman-screams of “I do what I want!
He’s already testing the boundaries, from questionable budget rescissions (hey there, government nerds, may I introduce you to Article II?) to threatening birthright citizenship with a flick of his XXL Sharpie.
Of course, little of it is constitutional, but in the Red Court Era of Trump, we’re all strapped onto a roller coaster with a rickety harness.
Even the Federalist Society judges—handpicked for their unwavering devotion to the conservative cause—might feel nauseous. The executive order tidal wave will take a lot to unpack. Stay tuned.
He’s SO Going After His Enemies
“Never again will the power of the state be weaponized against political opponents… something I know something about,” said the man who hired Kash Patel at the FBI and keeps trying to roast Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Nancy Pelosi, and anyone else who doesn’t greet him with a 21-gun salute and kneepads.
Just watch: the media will twist itself like a Cirque du Soleil contortionist to normalize this next wave of ugliness.
Flooding the Zone
Look, the avalanche of executive orders is cunning.
He’s overwhelming the Democrats, forcing them to respond to a hundred new outrages instead of one. There’s real strategy here: let’s see how quickly the other side can spin the plates. The key is to pick battles that matter—like breathtaking corruption or bonkers economic decisions—and let the small fries (like renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America”) go.
In all this chaos, one thing is clear: this second go-round is more organized, purposeful, and infinitely dangerous. He’s learned from his first fiasco and refined the mayhem process.
Trump Frees the January 6th Terrorists
If you needed a reminder of just how low this administration’s moral bar is, Trump pardoned the insurrectionists, including the violent Oath Keeper and Proud Boy ringleaders who attacked law enforcement at the Capitol.
So much for that whole “Back the Blue” shtick.
It’s shameless, it’s provocative, and it’s a neon sign for more violence, next time against Trump’s enemies. “Attack for me, and you’ll never see a day inside.”
Donald Trump hates cops—pass it on.
The TikTok Shake-Down
In a gloriously weird Oval Office presser, Trump once again ranted about TikTok and wants the United States to own half the company.
Because apparently, we’re no longer a nation but a two-bit extortion racket.
Remind me again: what’s that word for government control of production that the Trump crowd loves to freak out about? It ends in “-ism.” The hypocrisy is so thick you could pipe it onto a wedding cake.
Florida Special: Adiós, Cuban, Haitian, and Venezuelan Refugees
Trump’s shutting the door on parole and refugee status for Cubans, Haitians, and Venezuelans. South Florida, you got played.
Now it’s time for the “finding out” portion of the experiment. Expect to see hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants forcibly removed, and don’t act shocked when you’re forking over $9 for an apple at the grocery store next year.
She Still Hates Him
Touching is extra, monster.
Biden’s Incomplete Pardon List
Joe Biden should have pardoned Alexander Vindman and Michael Cohen—full stop. Sometimes, the moral high ground demands a little realpolitik, Joe.
That Salute
Finally, we have our new champion of extremely online mania, Elon Musk, who decided to give what looked uncomfortably like a Nazi salute. The rhetorical spiral?
1) “It wasn’t a Nazi salute.”
2) “Okay, it was, but it was a joke.”
3) “It wasn’t a joke; it was, you know, owning the libs.”
4) “Hitler actually had some good ideas….”
Tell me I’m exaggerating—then wait a month.
The neo-Nazis out there — a shockingly large number — are thrilled.
The Bottom Line
Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourselves in. We’re in for a cataclysmic circus of cronyism, chaos, and constitutionally questionable stunts. Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. Some days, we’ll fight try not to choke on the popcorn as we watch the spectacle of Trump screwing his people.
Some days, we’ll be fighting in public and private to stop the madness, block the bills, the appointments, and keep Trump on the back foot. I was considering today what a good life and a good legacy means, and fighting this battle, no matter how much I’d rather beat my sword into a plowshare, is the only honorable path.
I appreciate you all. It’s going to get loud. It’s going to be ugly. I’d still rather be us than them.
Let’s fight it to the end and save this big, beautiful, messy country.
Thank you for your leadership. I think all of us need to figure out what "fight" means to us. Me? I've got three things...local action to assist the less fortunate (who will be particularly hard hit), participation in and support of new democratic media (Bulwark, The Contrarian, Letters from an American, Democracy Docket, Civil Discourse, and so on), and figuring out some way to cram some way to stealth teach civics to so many who don't get it.
The greatest generation said “The only good Nazi is a dead Nazi” so will it be illegal to say that now?